Today is a special day...well, for me it is, I don't know that anyone else really gets the significance today holds.
It's my blog's birthday. A year ago, today, I wrote my very first blog post. I had no idea what I was doing, and I had no idea that anyone would ever bother to read my words other than myself and the five people I could manage to con into giving me feedback.
A lot of things have changed since then...I'm in the process of adding several other areas of study to my current major. New friends have come into my life and old friends have left. I've learned things about myself and the people I love. I've discovered that I do in fact like yogurt and italian salad dressing (not together though). I've discovered the joy of Pandora and Pinterest, rather than iTunes and Facebook.
Sometimes things have changed only to end up dumping me back at square one...my hair is back to its Little Orphan Annie look after having been blonde, bright red, brown, black, and pink, all in varying degrees of length. I've quit coffee several times, only to resume my addiction even more seriously than the previous time after each attempt. I've changed my writing style several times, only to end up right back to just plain writing without ever considering the grammatical correctness. I'm back to curling up with the good old NKJV at the end of the day, rather than the ESV.
It's strange for me to look back at my posts from the past year. In some cases it's a struggle for me to find myself in some of the things I wrote. In others I feel like I'm looking in a metaphorical mirror.
I'm hoping that after this post all of the nostalgia will be out of my system, because it's really getting kind of old. It's strange for me to reminisce so much...usually I'm caught up in the future (I think it goes back to the whole Annie mentality of holding out for "Tomorrow."). I meant to be up-beat in this post, but now I find myself making another pot of coffee and staring at myself in the mirror across from my bed (which is code for I'm starting to mope for no good reason). So I'm going to conclude my ramblings and turn on some Michael Jackson and dance around so that I don't waste the rest of the day lying around doing nothing.
PS Sorry that my writing has gotten so disjointed lately, I'm not sure what's up with me. Just rest assured that if you're having trouble finding the point in my thoughts, you're not alone because I'm not even sure what the point is in all the stuff on my mind lately.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Nostalgia
I'm not a terribly nostalgic person, but this past week I've really been missing my childhood...
Earlier in the week I saw one of my best friends from elementary school. She doesn't seem to have changed at all, and seeing her made me miss they days when she and I would play in the dirt and run around pretending to be horses. I'll never forget the time she tried to make me into a beauty queen and I ended up with a face covered in blush. (Then she tried to fix it by covering a loofah with soap and water and then pressing it into my face...I'm amazed I'm not blind.) I'll never forget the silly games we would play. I'll never forget how desperately we wanted to be grown up and on our own...
Now I find myself wishing I could go back to those times. They were much more simple. Everything seemed more magical. There were no limits. The future hadn't happened yet, so I could imagine that I really could do anything I wanted.
I hadn't yet realized that science was a mystery that I would never solve, so I could still imagine myself as a doctor. I hadn't yet realized that I really would never hit that growth spurt I was counting on, so I could imagine myself as a tall, blonde, beautiful model. I definitely hadn't realized that things really were much more complicated in the real world, so I could imagine that as a grown up my only problem would be deciding where to live.
Most of all, I hadn't realized that I never really would be grown up. I hadn't realized that there wouldn't be a day of recognizing that I was done growing. I hadn't realized that there really isn't a point in time at which a person stops changing.
It was with these thoughts that I went to my Grandma's eightieth birthday party. I saw cousins and relatives whom I hadn't seen in five or six years. I saw old family friends whom I hadn't seen in an even longer time. I had a good time, and was able to rest and relax more than I have in a while. It was good.
But the nostaglia hit me harder than ever.
My mumzy and I drove by my grandparents old house, and it filled me with a strange mix of emotions. I have so many good memories tied to that house...getting stuck in trees (I was always the one who had to be rescued.), making pies with my Grandpa, hiding under a table from all of my cousins so that I could read a book in peace, playing the piano for my Grandma, throwing biscuits at all of the nasty cats my Grandpa kept around....
I miss those days. I really miss them. But I'm so glad that I got to have them in the first place. I'm so thankful for them.
And I made some good new memories this weekend...I heard some new stories about my Grandpa, and how fond of me he was (it's always nice to hear about how someone loved you), it's now become a tradition to push my cousin Lee's face into a piece of cake every time we have a party, and I also managed to get in some pseudo-sister time with my cousin Emma. And of course, everyone fell in line with the family tradition of constantly offering me food. I can't tell you how many times someone told me to go get another piece of cake or how many times someone asked me what sort of diet I'm on...someday this darn metabolism will slow down!
While it was a semi-sad, nostalgic weekend for me, it was nice, because I left feeling really loved. I guess I hadn't really thought about how much I love these crazy people before, but I really do...I really do. And it's nice to know that they love me back.
Earlier in the week I saw one of my best friends from elementary school. She doesn't seem to have changed at all, and seeing her made me miss they days when she and I would play in the dirt and run around pretending to be horses. I'll never forget the time she tried to make me into a beauty queen and I ended up with a face covered in blush. (Then she tried to fix it by covering a loofah with soap and water and then pressing it into my face...I'm amazed I'm not blind.) I'll never forget the silly games we would play. I'll never forget how desperately we wanted to be grown up and on our own...
Now I find myself wishing I could go back to those times. They were much more simple. Everything seemed more magical. There were no limits. The future hadn't happened yet, so I could imagine that I really could do anything I wanted.
I hadn't yet realized that science was a mystery that I would never solve, so I could still imagine myself as a doctor. I hadn't yet realized that I really would never hit that growth spurt I was counting on, so I could imagine myself as a tall, blonde, beautiful model. I definitely hadn't realized that things really were much more complicated in the real world, so I could imagine that as a grown up my only problem would be deciding where to live.
Most of all, I hadn't realized that I never really would be grown up. I hadn't realized that there wouldn't be a day of recognizing that I was done growing. I hadn't realized that there really isn't a point in time at which a person stops changing.
It was with these thoughts that I went to my Grandma's eightieth birthday party. I saw cousins and relatives whom I hadn't seen in five or six years. I saw old family friends whom I hadn't seen in an even longer time. I had a good time, and was able to rest and relax more than I have in a while. It was good.
But the nostaglia hit me harder than ever.
My mumzy and I drove by my grandparents old house, and it filled me with a strange mix of emotions. I have so many good memories tied to that house...getting stuck in trees (I was always the one who had to be rescued.), making pies with my Grandpa, hiding under a table from all of my cousins so that I could read a book in peace, playing the piano for my Grandma, throwing biscuits at all of the nasty cats my Grandpa kept around....
I miss those days. I really miss them. But I'm so glad that I got to have them in the first place. I'm so thankful for them.
And I made some good new memories this weekend...I heard some new stories about my Grandpa, and how fond of me he was (it's always nice to hear about how someone loved you), it's now become a tradition to push my cousin Lee's face into a piece of cake every time we have a party, and I also managed to get in some pseudo-sister time with my cousin Emma. And of course, everyone fell in line with the family tradition of constantly offering me food. I can't tell you how many times someone told me to go get another piece of cake or how many times someone asked me what sort of diet I'm on...someday this darn metabolism will slow down!
While it was a semi-sad, nostalgic weekend for me, it was nice, because I left feeling really loved. I guess I hadn't really thought about how much I love these crazy people before, but I really do...I really do. And it's nice to know that they love me back.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Psalm 119:73-80
Your hands have made me and fashioned me;
Give me understanding, that I may learn Your commandments.
Those who fear You will be glad when they see me,
Because I have hoped in Your word.
I know, O LORD, that Your judgments are right,
And that in faithfulness You have afflicted me.
Let, I pray, Your merciful kindness be for my comfort,
According to Your word to Your servant.
Let Your tender mercies come to me, that I may live;
For Your law is my delight.
Let the proud be ashamed,
For they treated me wrongfully with falsehood;
But I will meditate on Your precepts.
Let those who fear You turn to me,
Those who know Your testimonies.
Let my heart be blameless regarding Your statutes,
That I may not be ashamed.
These have kind of been my thoughts these past few weeks, and it was nice to wake up and read them this morning. I love the book of Psalms so, so much. It's so comforting to know that David thought and said and did and prayed a lot of the same things I do. He and I must be kindred spirits...
Give me understanding, that I may learn Your commandments.
Those who fear You will be glad when they see me,
Because I have hoped in Your word.
I know, O LORD, that Your judgments are right,
And that in faithfulness You have afflicted me.
Let, I pray, Your merciful kindness be for my comfort,
According to Your word to Your servant.
Let Your tender mercies come to me, that I may live;
For Your law is my delight.
Let the proud be ashamed,
For they treated me wrongfully with falsehood;
But I will meditate on Your precepts.
Let those who fear You turn to me,
Those who know Your testimonies.
Let my heart be blameless regarding Your statutes,
That I may not be ashamed.
These have kind of been my thoughts these past few weeks, and it was nice to wake up and read them this morning. I love the book of Psalms so, so much. It's so comforting to know that David thought and said and did and prayed a lot of the same things I do. He and I must be kindred spirits...
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