My Poem

Please pardon the facts that I'm makeupless and also making a strange face in the thumbnail...

A Vlog About Milton and the Cowboys

For some reason my smile looks super creepy in the thumbnail...so ignore that...

Lovesick Mistake

So I know this is like the ultimate chick song, but I've kind of been obsessively listening to it for the past hour. I really just like the part where Erin sings about how she can't relate to her heart. It's so cheesy...but so good...and so relatable.  Also I'm trying to find random stuff to do so that I don't have to start my reading for classes tomorrow.

Should have had a V8.

As you all know (if you're a regular around here), for a while now I've been dealing with this whole "I'm not so great at this Christian thing" thing. I always kind of feel like I'm missing the mark when it comes to saying/doing/thinking the "right" stuff. Honestly I've really been holding out for the day that I wake and discover that I've become perfect.

So the other day I was sitting on my bed berating myself for my flaws as I was reading my Bible. And then I read the beginning of Psalm 3:8 - "Salvation belongs to the LORD."I had this stunning realization that GOD hasn't saved me because of anything I have or haven't done. Past, present, or future.

A few weeks ago I had a conversation with a friend about negative self-talk. Don't get me wrong, I'm not into the whole self-esteem generation thing, but there's something to be said for the things that a person says to his or herself. I mean, I say/think things about myself that I would never say or think about another person.

And so, that was my mindset when I read that verse...Salvation belongs to the LORD...it was like I had this moment of GOD doing the "Should have had a V8" thing to my forehead as He reminded me that it's not my place to decide who does or does not receive salvation. Even my own salvation.

Romance, Coffee, and Life

It's raining out, and I after my first class I decided that I needed a mocha. So now I'm back in my room, slightly soggy, sipping my mocha, and listening to Sarah McLachlan. I got kind of caught up in the romantic atmosphere of it all, so I decided to blog...

Lately I've been having these strange moments of clarity about myself. Not in any sort of big way, just in the small little ways that honestly I think are more important than the big ways.

I like coffee. I know this isn't anything new, but my overindulgence in this legal addictive stimulant has become more obvious to me lately. Coffee reminds me of home and Mumzy. It reminds me that even though I'm crazy busy and even though I don't understand the world (or GOD) the way I want to, that's okay. It reminds me that I'm loved (which I know sounds super weird...), and it reminds me that some things (like the taste of a mocha!) never change.

I've also been realizing that I like how I do life. I've always kind of had this strange relationship with myself because I've always felt like I myself am strange, and it's really hard to have a normal relationship with a strange person. But GOD has shown me that I'm not strange. I'm just different. And that's okay. And for the most part, it's even good.

Most importantly I've been realizing that I'm not where I should be...I hate admitting it, but I've gotten really lazy and un-pro-active. Especially when it comes to the LORD. Prayer and time in the WORD have been rare things lately...and I'm not a fan of how the lack of those things make me feel.

So anyways, I'm off to chapel...whoopee. On the bright side, while I'm sitting there ignoring the speaker I'll have time to read the Bible. Or on the even brighter side, maybe I'll actually like the speaker!

What was I thinking?

So I didn't really plan this semester very well...

I'm currently sitting in the SBU computer lab trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do with my life now that my 8 o'clock class is over...because I don't have class again until noon.

And of course I decided to bring all of my books for the day with me...so I'm a little loaded down.

On the bright side I have a new bag, and we all know the boost that having a new bag can add to a day. Well...it's new to me...it used to be mumzy's, but she got a new one, so I got hers. Whoop whoop!

Also I have new head phones that block out all of the sounds around me. This is good because now I can listen to nice, calming, quiet music without having to hear all of the crap everyone else listens to. However, it's a lot easier for people to sneak up on me and I have had exactly three small panic attacks because of this conundrum.

I bet some of you have quit reading this by now because you've figured out that this post doesn't really have a point, I'm just trying to kill time and I actually want to look like I'm doing something important instead of just sitting around looking dopily (pretty sure that's a word...) at the wall.

What's a girl to do when she's got waaaaaaay too much time to kill?

Perhaps I'll go poke my nose into some books...seeing as I am in the library after all.

Adiue my lovely readers...

The Full-Fledged-Freaker-Outer

I am a full-fledged-freaker-outer. It doesn't matter the situation...if I think something is going to go wrong, I flip. My fantastic imagination is always right there, ready to supply me with images and thoughts about how everything that can go wrong, will go wrong...Murphy and I would have been good friends.

So today I was having a nice little flip out session in the car with my dad. He, of course, is the opposite of being a full-fledged-freaker-outer...he's always exuded calmness and serenity...in another life he would have made a great yoga master.

And as I was sitting there ranting about the current situation that had me doing flips, my dad patiently listened for a bit, and then he told me to stop talking.

It was quiet for a second and then I inhaled to start ranting again, but before I could get anymore words out my dad said, "Why don't you just say the LORD's prayer, focus on what you gotta do, and then go from there?"

And I did it. Right then and there. And it made things a lot better.

I hope someday I'm as wise as my daddy is...

Why I Love Jesus, Like Religion, and Have Mixed Feelings About This Video

So I'm supposed to be writing a scholarship essay...but of course, I needed a break. So I took one and I watched that new Jesus video that's caused such a stir on my friendly neighborhood social networking sites...

Here it is if you happen to live in a cave and have therefore missed out on it...

I have a lot of mixed feelings about this video...(and of course, I felt the need to go public with them!)

On the one hand he makes some admirable points...

• The Republican party is not GOD's chosen party.
• The church should focus more on helping the poor than on promoting their building fund.
• GOD loves sinners and He wants to extend His grace to them.

There are some things about this video that don't really sit well with me though...

It kind of leaves one with the idea that you can have Jesus and grace and all that good stuff without ever having to bother with church. Now, I'm not saying that you have to go to church in order to be saved...but don't you think that fellowship with people who believe the same things as you do is important? Even if they are hypocrites? Even if you're a hypocrite?

I've recently become a Dallas Cowboys fan. It was a big step for me, but I finally decided that I need my own sports team to support. Don't you think it would be ridiculous for me to run around saying, "I love the Dallas Cowboys, but man do I hate all of the other fans of their team. They're different from me. They don't love the Cowboys the way that I do. They don't own as much NFL gear as I do. They don't 'like' the Cowboys facebook page."

See, the thing is, everyone says one thing and does another. No one is perfect and no one's relationship with Christ is even remotely spotless. And if you're not perfect, then how dare you look down on your fellow Christians for not being perfect?

I've heard a lot of people talk about how much they love Jesus but hate church, and quite frankly, I'm sick of it. The church is Jesus' bride. You can't love Jesus and hate his wife. It doesn't work that way. As Christians, we need fellowship with other Christians. We should be as excited about meeting other believers as I am when I find a fellow Cowboys fan.

I also am afraid that people are going to become even more legalistic about believing other people are legalistic. I think it's sad how often people are looked down on just because they prefer a more traditional form of worship. There's nothing wrong with praying from a Book of Common Prayer, or taking part in the various traditions handed down from church fathers. When we as Christians take part in communion, or worship, or prayer, maybe we ought to be more appreciative of tradition...

Now then...I don't think that the guy who made this video was saying that he hates church. I think he was making a very accurate statement about the love and grace of Christ. However, I see several  ways in which this video leaves things open for misinterpretation and I think that everything he says should be carefully thought through...as with any material a person comes across.

Ma nah ma nah...

So somehow I've gotten kind of behind on here...I logged on yesterday and realized that I hadn't blogged in 2012 yet!

So I decided that I would share some of my current infatuations...

1. The following song...it's one of those songs that I put on and dance around to when I feel like having a pity party...

2. The Dallas Cowboys. I officially have a sports team. And they're it.

3. My red high heels and yellow coat that I got for Christmas.

4. Coffee...duh.

5. The "Weddings By Bella" book series...best chick flick novels in a long time.

More to come...hopefully...if I find time...