Confession: I am clueless.

Today I had a revelation: I do not know what I want or need. I was reading Psalm 107, and over and over in that chapter the Psalmist talks about people who choose to live in the desert and darkness while enduring slavery and starvation instead of choosing to allow the LORD to care for them. My first reaction was to think about how stupid a person would have to be to choose a miserable life when GOD is right in front of them. Then I realized: I am that person.

I consistently choose the things that I want over the things I know the LORD wants for me. And honestly, isn’t that just as bad as being enslaved? When I choose to ignore the LORD’s conviction am I not choosing to be a ‘prisoner in affliction and irons’? When I choose to ignore GOD’s WORD, and do all those other things on my to-do list instead, am I not choosing to ‘wander in a desert waste...hungry and thirsty while my soul faints within me’?

There is hope though! When these people cried out to the LORD in their affliction, ‘He delivered them from their distress and led them by a straight way till they reached a city to dwell in...He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and burst their bonds apart.’ It’s so comforting to know that even when my courage melts away the LORD is there. Even when I am at my wits’ end, I can cry out to the LORD and He will deliver me.

I really like the conclusion of chapter 107, “Whoever is wise, let him attend to these things; let them consider the steadfast love of the LORD.” GOD is faithful and sovereign and good and full of grace. He knows what I need, so it’s okay that I don’t know myself. He has plans for me, and even though I don’t have an inkling about what they are, He knows them and that’s enough.