But they're not.
And honestly, at the end of one of those days when I've given into my selfishness and made everything about myself, I feel pretty crappy. Part of that comes from feeling guilty that I did something wrong, and part of it comes from shame over how I've basically sucked the life out of the people I love that day, and the rest of it comes from disatisfaction because no matter how hard I try, gratifying myself doesn't fulfill me.
I don't want to be this person anymore. I don't want to suck the life out of people to make myself feel good. I don't want to be so focused on myself that I'm blind to the needs of the people I love. I want to be selfless...which is one of the first things I've wanted in a while that isn't selfish.
Good thoughts, good thoughts. One minor semantic note from our mutual friend Jack:
ReplyDelete"If you asked twenty good men to-day what they thought the highest of virtues, nineteen of them would reply, Unselfishness. But if you asked almost any of the great Christians of old he would have replied, Love. You see what has happened? A negative term has been substituted for a positive, and this is of more than philological importance. The negative ideal of Unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not primarily of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point. I do not think this is the Christian virtue of Love. The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself. We are told to deny ourselves and take up our crosses only that we may follow Christ" (The Weight of Glory)
Oops, that ran longer than I meant it to.