It's a good thing he's cute...

My dog is selfish. Over the years he's managed to steal three shoes, my favorite sock, four stuffed animals, half a Big Mac, a slice of angel food cake, half a pizza, a corn cob, and a roll. That's not even including the stuff he has gradually "acquired" over the years: a bathrobe, a sleeping bag, my old bedspread, a disney princess sheet, and a stuffed lamb that used to make bah-ing sounds (I think he ate the noise maker).

When I let him sleep in my room I always wake up with him sprawled out in the exact middle of my bed so that I have to sleep around him and end up with a ginormous back-ache in the morning. Moving him is no use; he goes right back to where he was. Kicking him out of my room is pointless too; he scratches at the door and whines until I let him back in.

One time we walked in on him devouring a box of tissues. Before the tissues he had managed to chew through several bags of m&m's. Later he barfed a strange mix of tissues and colored chocolate.

When I left for school last fall he managed to pee on my bathrobe, a crate full of sheet music, and in the corners of my room, out of rebellion. He didn't acknowledge me until the second week of Christmas break.

It's a good thing he has really soft ears and looks like this:

Instead of this, because otherwise I would have let him run away a long time ago...