Confession: I am a much better gift reciever than a gift giver.

So lately I’ve been developing a small U2 obsession. All of my current playlists contain at least three U2 songs. This is one of my more recent discoveries. The first time I heard it, I thought, “Oh what a nice song...I like the words...they make me think of Jesus.” Then I went about my day and forgot all about it.

These past couple days have been rough. Little, teensy, ridiculously miniscule things have not gone as I wanted them to and I’ve had a nasty attitude as a result. I have been mean to and impatient with almost anyone who’s come into contact with me. The worst part was when I realized how far I’d let my attitude spiral out of control. I had said something snide and catty to one of my favorite people (over the internet of course, so my tone was even worse sounding than if it had been in person), and as soon as I hit enter I regretted the words I had typed. Of course I was stubborn and I let them hang there while I waited for a reply, instead of apologizing right away like I should have. I knew that I was wallowing in self-pity and I knew that I was being stupid and stubborn, but I didn’t want to admit it because that would be a step towards changing my attitude, and honestly, I crave the selfishness of allowing myself to sit around and mope...even if it is over nothing.

So today after class I was still feeling a little guilty about said conversation and I decided that rather than sit around and mope about it I would take a walk and ask GOD for grace...which is exactly what I did. It’s such a beautiful day out and I felt such a relief just to rest in the knowledge that the LORD loves me and has poured out His grace in my life. Then I came back to my room and started to work on my Fine Art’s project. I turned on a random playlist and U2’s “Grace” started playing...I remembered my initial reaction. Then I had another thought: “Why doesn’t my life look like this song?”

I have always seen grace as something that I get to receive. Grace in my mind has always been all about me. It never occurred to me that grace was something that I should be sharing with others. Grace should be my mindset and my lifestyle. It’s not though...and as ironic as this statement is, thank goodness the LORD pours out His grace on me...because this whole living out grace thing is going to be quite a work in progress.