This is a confession, but I don't really feel like putting what it's about in the title.

Have you ever had one of those days where you’re slapped in the face with your own selfishness? I have several times, but today was probably the most painful, heartrending, and stomach sickening one I’ve ever had.

Today, more than ever, I understood what Paul meant when in Romans 7:15 he said, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” Later he goes on to say in verses 18 and 19, “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” These were my thoughts over and over again this afternoon and evening; thoughts of guilt and condemnation. I feel as if GOD has taken a mirror and held it before me and forced me to look at the wretch that I am. Oh the joys of introspection...

But enough of all that...conviction is good, but being trapped in guilt is bad. Also, it’s beneficial to pick up where we left off in Romans:

For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. (7:22-8:2)

How true this is...GOD is so good. His grace is sufficient. In fact, it’s more than sufficient. I would say more, but I feel like tonight it’s better to let the WORD speak instead. My own words aren’t quite coming to mind as freely as usual anyways.

As a post script, I would also advise anyone reading this to go buy The Autumn Film’s song, “Wreck of Innocence”. Don’t think, just do it. It is one of the best investments you will ever make. Also, while you’re at it get their song “Love In Spite of Me” as well.