My 2011 New Year's Resolutions

A few weeks ago I came across an article that I thought was really interesting. I almost didn’t read it because the title was about learning to love yourself, so of course I wrote it off as potential worthless trash. However, I was feeling facetious so I decided to read it for a laugh.

Granted, a lot of the stuff on there was really trashy. There was one thing that it mentioned though that really caught my attention. It was this, “Ruthlessly evaluate your life and cut out the things that aren’t working.” I sat there for a while, thinking about what a neat idea that was, then I moved on to reading an article about modern art.

If you’ve been keeping up with me on here, or if you have spent very much time with me lately, you’ve probably noticed that I haven’t exactly been in the cheeriest of moods for the past few weeks. My posts haven’t exactly been bursting with sunshine and lemonade.

Things lately have been rough. It’s been a long semester with a lot of stress and a lot of changes. My attitudes and reactions to these things have also been rough. In fact, they have made not so great situations downright unbearable. Somehow I had gotten to the point where I even pushed GOD away because I wanted to hold onto my selfishness and negativity and pride...which made things even worse.

This past week has been the toughest of my whole life. I messed up a lot. Thank goodness I have a roommate who has poured out grace after grace on me and who sat and held me as I lost it last night.

So this morning I got up and thankfully was surrounded by reminders that the LORD’s mercies are new every day. I love Him so much. I hate that I so easily forget how good and gracious and loving He is. I sat around for most of the day feeling sorry for myself and nursing a heart full of guilt and shame in light of the grace I have been given.

Then my roommate made me get out of bed. This was monumental in that I hadn’t gotten out of bed in almost 24 hours. She took me to sonic and a store and the park. I whined the whole time. She played a song in the car that I didn’t want to hear. I tried to open the door and get out while she was driving. Then she took me back to our room and assured me that she would be back at eight (she already had plans, she wasn’t hiding from me if that’s what you’re thinking.)

I started to get back in bed. Then I had a thought, “Why do I let myself consistently hold onto negativity and guilt? Why do I feel the need to have extreme pity parties? Since when is it okay for me to constantly remind everyone around me how awful I think life is?” I was reminded of that article I had read a few weeks before. (I would post a link to it on here, but parts of it were kind of...sketchy.) So I did it. I re-evaluated my life. And then I printed it off and made it pretty so that when I look at it every day, it won’t be quite so bad. Some of the things on here aren’t going to be hard for me at all. Some of them...are not going to be very fun...in fact, they’ll probably be pretty painful. Also, I’m going to fail. A lot. But Jesus and I are going to get through it together. I’m trusting Him to sustain and equip me on this road to being at peace with myself, with others, and with the LORD.

So anyways, here’s the list. (I would like to warn you beforehand that when I say ‘talk to strangers’ I don’t mean creepy men in gas stations.)

·         Stop doubting myself

·         Stop looking for answers to meaningless questions

·         Stop procrastinating

·         Stop blaming others

·         Stop judging others

·         Stop waiting to live

·         Stop needing reasons to be happy

·         Stop caring what people think

·         Stop being negative

·         Stop comparing myself to others/being envious

·         Stop gossiping

·         Stop overdoing it...I have limits

·         Stop taking myself too seriously

·         Stop focusing on the past

·         Stop hiding

·         Stop pretending to be smarter, better, and stronger

·         Stop constantly saying, “I’m sorry”, “I can’t”, or “I don’t know.”

·         Call my family often

·         Do kind things for others

·         Forgive others...and myself

·         Talk to the women I live with regularly about my feelings and thoughts

·         Learn to control myself

·         Learn to listen rather than ignore

·         Meditate/sit silently for 10 minutes every day

·         Read a novel for 20 minutes every day

·         Pray often

·         Read the Bible in the morning, afternoon, and night

·         Seek out peace and rest

·         Rely on the LORD for sustenance

·         Talk to strangers...regularly

·         Make decisions and stick with them

·         Praise GOD often

·         Spend less time on facebook/e-mail