A Post That's Guaranteed to Shock

Surprise! It's not a list! Okay so I know I’ve already posted today and I know that this is my seventeenth post in May already and it’s only May fifteenth, but I have some thoughts that I want to get out that do not involve making a silly little list. (Not that I don’t love the lists, I’m actually having a lot of fun with them, but right now they seem a little...trivial in comparison to the thoughts stemming from a sermon I heard this morning.)

It’s been a strange semester for me. I’ve been through a lot of changes and a lot of really strange stuff happened...some good, some bad, some neither good nor bad, and some of it I change my mind daily about the relative goodness and badness. I’ve learned a lot about myself these past few weeks. I’ve learned that it’s okay to ask for help. I’ve learned that it’s okay to quit things. I’ve learned that sometimes you just have to let go of your pride and admit that things aren’t how they’re supposed to be. I’ve learned that those are the times when you discover who really cares about you, because at the end of the day those people are the ones who you have messages in your inbox from and those are the ones who sit you down and tell you honestly what they see in you that is good and what is...not so good. (Sorry for that run-on sentence.) I’ve learned that those are the times when the LORD seems the closest.

So anyways, that’s all irrelevant to what I actually want to say, but not because that’s the perspective I had when I went to church this morning...whatever. The Biblical text used was the book of Nehemiah, which I’ve never read. In fact, the pages of Nehemiah were stuck together in my Bible. Basically, the sermon was about how Nehemiah felt a strong burden for the spiritual well-being of the people of Israel, so he prayed and wept before the LORD that the wall of Jerusalem would be restored (I might not be getting all of this right, I still have yet to read the book.). The crux of the matter was, how often do we feel some sort of burden, and rather than going before the LORD with passion and faith, we instead spend a few minutes in prayer before passing the baton onto someone who we believe is more capable? (Again, sorry about the run-on...I’m in one of those moods.)

As I sat in the pew this morning, I realized how often I focus on the things I am not capable of, when I should be spending that time praying and weeping before the LORD instead of lying in my bed alternating between worrying and moping. (And there was yet another run-on...) I also realized that even though I often feel convicted or burdened about something, I leave it at that. I never actually end up doing anything about it. But it’s not enough to just feel something and not take any action. So rather than allow these feelings of conviction to pass, I’m going to do something with them, and the first step is to read the book of Nehemiah.