Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Confession: I'm having trouble holding back my inner mean girl.

I'll be honest...I have a serious spiteful streak in me. And it's the nasty kind of spiteful too...the kind that's sneaky and subtle. I like revenge. I love movies where the bad guy dies at the end. Somehow I've gotten this mentality that vindication is good, no matter what (or who) it costs me.

Right now this aspect of my personality is kind of in full swing. Some of you are probably shaking your heads in disagreement right now because I've managed to convince you that I'm sweet, docile, and fairly cookie cutter. You are wrong.

Deep inside me there is a mean girl trying to claw her way out.

Sometimes she manages to and she ends up manifesting herself in a loud exclamation of "Shut up already!" to one of my classmates who particularly enjoys talking. She also enjoys expressing herself using my very communicative facial expressions. More than one person has recieved a nasty glare this week. When I'm feeling insecure she usually convinces me to ignore (rather than deal with) what's bothering me and just toss my hair and hold my head up higher.

I wish that these reactions weren't almost involuntary for me. I also wish that the mean girl inside my heart was quieter...actually I wish she didn't exist.

No comments:

Post a Comment