"Have you decided what you want to do with your life?"
"You mean, like a job?"
"Yeah."
"Nope. Although I think if I can't get a job after college with an English major, I could just go to cosmetology school and do hair."
"Please don't do that."
"Okay."
I have had this exact conversation with my father five times. He's one of those people who likes to have a plan for everything, so I think it stresses him out that I'm not entirely sure what I want to do after college. I mean, I have quite a few ideas that I think I could make fly, I'm just not ready to nail myself down to one quite yet...I want to keep my options open for as long as possible.
Lately I've been kind of having this "What's GOD's will?" crisis. Well...maybe not a crisis, per se. I guess it's just been more of a series of revelations.
It all started one day when I was being super morbid. I was lying in bed, alternating between staring at the ceiling and praying about what GOD's will for my life was, when I had a weird thought: If I die next week, without ever having a career or a husband or children or a house or all of those other things that I feel like I need to plan for right now, does that mean that I never fulfilled GOD's will for my life? For that matter, if I never manage to attain those things does that mean that my life is worthless?
It was with those thoughts in mind that I came across this phrase: "There is more to this life than what you see everyday."
I found myself with a paradox. If there is more to this life than what I see everyday, then what am I supposed to do with everyday? If life is not about the everyday, little things, then if I die next week I'm afraid that my life will have held little value. I've never accomplished anything big. There isn't really one day that sticks out in my mind as having been much more important than any of the others.
I decided that life is all about everyday stuff, and I think that GOD is all about everyday stuff too. I think that He would much rather I focus my efforts on building Him into my life right now, instead of taking up all my prayers with worries about whether or not I should get married and if I should get married, who I should marry, and what sort of career I should have, and where I should live after school, and whether or not I should have kids, and what sort of school I should send those kids to if I do have them, and whether or not I should go to Europe and whether or not I should...
You get the point.
If my life was all about the big main events, it wouldn't be a life. It would be a movie.
GOD's will for my life is right here, right now. It's GOD's will for me to step out of my comfort zone and spend time with people who are different from me. It's GOD's will for me to go out of my way to find kind things to say and do for others. It's GOD's will for me to give up things that I've been clinging to that are keeping me from loving Him. GOD has surrounded me with little ways to obey Him everyday, and I think that at the end of my life those things will be what mattered the most.
So, I do not want to ever annoy with you comments nor annoy you with my words, but I cannot help commenting. You offer such poignant words and ideas fresh from your heart. The question of God's Will has plagued more for a long time and I always wonder, "if I died what would my life matter?" It is a tough question to consider. I do agree with you that it is in the everyday and God's will appears to be living in the way He designed you and later on (if you do get to live to be an old age) looking back on your life and seeing the path that He laid out for you and how you walked right into His will. In our viewpoint now, we live each day according to His nature that He created in us and thus we are used as His tools every day in every situation and are living out His will to bring Glory to His Name and spreading His Love to all we come in contact with (whether we actually talk to them or our character speaks volumes to them)
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